sometimes i rant

my last post (over two months ago), was about “shits” this time i’m writing about puke. let’s hope this is not the start of a really awful trend.

i got some positive feedback from this e-mail experience, and i think it’s worth posting in my blog (that, and i’m too lazy to actually write a real post).

some context.
this weekend (the weekend of 4th of july) i was away from berlin. i was visiting a friend on the north sea (the trip was amazing, and, i promise, i will get around to writing about it too, maybe even putting together a video eventually). I came back around 10pm on sunday night and wanted no more than to talk about my great trip and go to bed. sadly, i was greeted by my roommate informing me that, during the 4th of july bash (which was relocated to our apartment at the last second due to bad weather) someone had puked on the floor of my bedroom. i was kind of bummed. i couldn’t sleep in my room and it’s just never a very good situation.

as i started cleaning up i grew more frustrated by people’s inconsideration, and my frustration finally boiled over in the form of a long e-mail rant to my good friends. i was careful to make the intention of the e-mail neither the search of the culprit nor scapegoats. most people do stupid stuff at parties, i think it has something to do with the combination of three factors: many people, alcohol, and the realization that you can get away with stuff you normally can’t, due to the first 2 factors. the first two factors are just facts that i have no control over, but i think the rate at which the third one comes to fruition may be affected by a well-phrased reminder to be more considerate. the rant follows unabridged.

Fedor Dokshin Mon, Jul 7, 2008 at 4:24 AM
To:
Cc:

hi all,

so, as i came home earlier today (yesterday) from my excursion to the nordsee (which was great by the way), i was greeted by a not so pleasant surprise. namely, john informed me that someone puked in my room. being a mellow dude, i brushed it off. you know shit happens, especially when everyone is drunk and it’s the 4th of july. i was just a victim of circumstances, john said he had been scrubbing the floor for some time today, and though certainly displeased, i figured i could take care of it, and in a couple of days i would be able to sleep in my room again. unfortunately, as i continued my surveillance of damage, i noticed more and more puke.

not just on my floor and papers, there was puke on the walls, clothes, and various objects, including electronics, that were so messily spread about my floor. now, i know my room is a huge mess as it is, and that surely played a role in so many of my things being affected, but i still can’t help but feel like i got the short end of the stick on this one. i think quite understandably, i grew a little more frustrated, seeing as to how i was at the time washing puke of things like my laptop, books, and door, throwing away my poor dictionary and piling my previously clean clothes in the laundry basket.

but like i said, though frustrated, i don’t blame anyone for something like this. i don’t care who puked all over my stuff, it could have been anyone. shit happens. but as i went down the stairs to throw away my towel, which was oh-so cleverly concealing the puke on my floor for the better part of 2 days, i did get angry. because there, facing me was a shopping cart, which was surely in one way or another a very american part of your 4th of july celebration. i got a little angry, for now it appeared to me that maybe shit like this doesn’t happen because of silly accidents and much alcohol, but because people simply don’t have the kind of regard for other people’s stuff as they do for their own. a couple of complaints:

1. i don’t see why anyone was in my room to begin with. there were people at this party who i have never even met before. i have expensive things in my room, including: my computer and the big wad of cash i keep tucked neatly under my chair cushion (great, now you know). anyway, it would have been best, if people who i didn’t know were not coming and going bzw. puking in my room.

2. the cart is just shitty, and worst of all it doesn’t only affect us. we live in an apartment with many families. i love our neighbors, they are all very nice (one guy even let me use his washing machine once, his name is sven), and i try to keep on good terms with them. however, i think our relations are complicated, when they find a shopping cart full of trash in our Treppenhaus. especially, since we’re the only americans that live here, and of course a dirty abandoned shopping cart just has “4th of July” written all over it.

3. our apartment being as awesome as it is, we have a lot of parties. that means john and i have to clean up every time, on some occasions more than on others. though i wasn’t there for this clean up, i’m sure the rest of the house was not fun to clean up either. and john did it by himself. show him some love.

although i would love to work on my Hausarbeits tomorrow, seeing as to how i’m pretty far behind, i’m afraid i will be preoccupied with doing my laundry and cleaning the rest of my “shits” (meant in both the slang sense and my mom’s misguided understanding). quite frankly i don’t want to deal with a shopping cart as well.

SO, i don’t want to see that thing there by tomorrow night. i don’t care who, coordinate amongst yourselves, but if you would, please come on down and collect your rusty chariot and do with it as you like.

alrighty, sorry for the rant, i’m sure i sound like a proper douchebag. but i think i just needed to vent a little (just like my room).

anyway, sleep well and strive to be better every day. you can do it, good luck.

fedor

that was my little rant, it was written in a really impassioned 10 minutes at 4am, when i was tired of cleaning and needed a break. when i woke up the following morning (afternoon) i was happy to see my inbox filled with responses. below i include some good ones (names omitted)

X Mon, Jul 7, 2008 at 11:02 AM
To: Fedor Dokshin
dear fedor,

normally i don’t read the chain e-mails that people send out to our bcgs group, but yours i read twice. it was amazing. i wasn’t at the party at your place on july 4th, but i want to say that i’m sorry for anything that happened and for all that you have had to, and might have to, do to clean up. i have thrown a few parties in my life that ended up either in puke (in my bed, in the sink, in the bathtub), broken objects (a statue, a glass vase, picture frames, a door frame), empty beer bottles but floors soaked with beer, und so weiter, und so fort. it’s shitty to clean up, and especially shitty in your case because you weren’t even at the party.

i’m assuming that whoever left the shopping cart there is going to go pick it up, but if there’s anything else i can do to help you or john put your place back in order, let me know. seriously.

other than that, i wish you the best of luck with your hausarbeiten and, as the germans would say: bis dahin!

Grusse,
-X

X Mon, Jul 7, 2008 at 8:29 AM
Reply-To:
To: Fedor Dokshin

Hi John and Fedor -

I just wanted to offer to come by and help with cleaning up if there’s anything that still needs to be done (sorry if it’s all done now and this is one of those annoying after the fact things.) It was totally unfair for you to have clean everything, especially because as far as I know you weren’t planning on having it there in the first place. I was feeling guilty about it all weekend but I guess the Hausarbeit guilt won, while I’m all far a way in Friedrichshain, but there’s really no excuse today as I will be going to the university anyway.

I have no idea who puked in your room, that’s totally disgusting and – yeah. Disgusting pretty much sums it up. I think you can use baking soda to help get the smell out?

So – basically, if you still need help with anything, I can come over after class today around 6, I think I left a tupperware in your kitchen anyway, and I can bring baking soda.

I don’t know where the schopping cart came from/where to return it to – sorry. (The “sch” just came out, had to leave it)

- X

X Mon, Jul 7, 2008 at 11:58 AM
To: Fedor Dokshin <fad7@cornell.edu>

Dearest Fedor,

I am all over that shopping cart. I will be in the city this afternoon trying to get my laptop fixed and will swing by your place around 4. Hope to find you or John there.

-X

there were many more in this same tone, and i’m pretty sure i got some calls too, but i later realized my phone card was not in my phone. when i put it in, more people expressed their sympathy/willingness to help.

to seal the deal, i wrote back the following response

Fedor Dokshin Mon, Jul 7, 2008 at 5:28 PM
To:
Cc:

heyyo,

thanks to everyone who responded to my message and offered to help. although i know that everyone tends to have 20/20 hindsight, i believe you all had the best intentions and the whole debacle was nothing more than an alcohol-induced lapse of judgement. that being said, i think everyone needs a reminder to be nicer every once in a while, and i’m happy i could provide that for all of you.

my mood was better today, for it’s nice to read that people are not as big of assholes as they sometimes act. i was also happy to see josh’s smiling face, as he came to collect the shopping cart and surprise me with a beautiful red rose.

a special thanks to joanna, chris and goran who lent their help after the party. especially goran who, according to john, was actually “eine Putzmaschine,” and helped clean up for several hours.

basically, i think the lesson from all this is quite simple: we should all strive to be a little more like Goran everyday. that would really be the beautiful and peaceful world invisioned by the likes of karl marx, mohandas gandhi, martin luther king, and mother teressa. think about it.

now, i’m off to do some laundry and read some peukert. i wish you all a schönen Abend.

fedor

all’s well that ends well. i guess